Cord Cutting: A Practice for Healing and Setting Energetic Boundaries
Cord Cutting: A Practice for Healing and Setting Energetic Boundaries
Cord cutting is a healing technique that can be used to release us from emotional dynamics and relationships that drain us or are unhealthy. It’s a common practice in spiritual and secular traditions that is used to help us get back energy that has been lost and to help us re-establish healthy energetic boundaries.
Everything is Energy
When thinking about cutting cords, we need to remember that everything is energy. This includes your home, pets, family, loved ones, friends and it can even include strangers. Any time we enter into a relationship with someone or thing, we develop energetic cords because we are all energetically connected. We are energetic beings that can perceive and feel the energy of one another. These cords are not always bad - in a lot of cases, they help us to connect and understand one another.
The emotions we receive from relationships can impact us positively, negatively or neutrally. Some of these connections are healthy and fill us with confidence, love, and joy. Others however, can be restricting and draining, for example if we are in a relationship where there is jealousy, competitiveness, or judgement. We can also feel low vibrations and energy blocks if we are in a relationship that is not reciprocal or equal, where there is a power dynamic at play or an energy imbalance, or where there is fear, anxiety, or a need to control or suppress another. If this sort of connection is maintained for too long or we are giving energy when we don’t have any to give, it’s time to cut some cords.
The cords themselves can attach to various places in the body, but they often involve our chakras, or energy centers. If you are in a relationship that feels imbalanced or the feeling of love is dwindling, the cord may connect to your heart chakra. If you are in a relationship where your self-expression is restricted, it might attach to your throat chakra. If you are in a relationship where you can’t be yourself creatively or sexually, it might attach to your sacral chakra. When you think about a person you want or need to cut cords with, it can be helpful to take a moment and close your eyes and notice where you feel it in your body. Maybe your heartbeat speeds up or your stomach or throat hurts. What do you feel? This is likely where your energy cord is attached.
As we move through our lives, as we change, grow, learn, evolve, end relationships and enter into new ones, we must let go of what no longer serves us or those thoughts of “what would have/could have been…” in order to make space, create room for possibility, and move forward. When we are in a place where we are starting something new, like a project or goal, or we are trying to establish new positive habits or boundaries, it’s beneficial to have energy and emotional space. We do this by letting go of what doesn’t serve us, including any negative energetic attachments to other people. If we didn’t do this, we could potentially be carrying around energy from all sorts of past relationships and if we don’t ever release any of it, it can get heavy and create an energy deficit over time.
Some people you might want to cut cords with include:
Anyone you want completely out of your life for whatever reason
Anyone who is a source of drama (friends, family, etc.)
Those you feel need or ask too much of you, are envious, or have bad intentions towards you
Anyone who drains you emotionally
Anyone you have a negative tie with
Someone who is constantly on your mind for no reason
Those you fear having contact with or feel the need to avoid
Those who are holding you back from being your innate self, who you want to be, and/or who stop you from moving forward in life
The person you immediately thought of when you started reading this
Trust your intuition when it comes to this and remember, we can cut cords with people for any number of reasons.
What cord cutting is not…
Is a practice that is used to help us remove healthy emotional bonds. However, it can be used with those we are still in relationships with to clear away anything unhealthy that may be limiting us. We can even cut cords in really good relationships, as it can serve as a way to keep the energy in the relationship clean and help with creating space for the new. Cutting cords can improve relationships as it helps to remove any cords that are damaging or depleting and can help us to set clear and healthy boundaries.
In his book Healing is the New High, Vex King says “it’s important to understand that setting boundaries isn’t a way to get rid of people, but a way to keep them in your life without destroying your inner peace. Healing doesn’t mean rejecting the people in your life; but it does involve developing healthier, more functional, and less triggering relationships with some of those people (pg. 123).” So, if you are wanting to cut cords with people you want to keep in your life, think about those cords that are holding you back from moving forward in a way that serves you.
When it comes to loved ones and those we want to stay in relationship with remember, cutting cords is about breaking negative ties. If the love is deep and pure, it’s safe to cut away the negative and know that you’ll still remain connected to the person, and in a healthier and more positive way.
A few ways to cut cords:
· Meditation/Visualization: what we will be doing today
· Salt bath: cleanses the energetic body and brings you into a state of balance
· Smudging: cleansing with smoke to purify the energetic body and re-establish connection with the divine
· Journaling: try writing out everything you want to say to the other person without holding back. When you are done, you can burn the paper as a symbol of release.
After Cord Cutting:
After you’ve cut cords, expect your relationship to adjust, it could be that it no longer exists, a new norm is set or there may be disengagement (these might bring out emotions in the other, such as anger, so be on the lookout).
You might also experience physical symptoms. You might feel lightness, sometimes there are tears, a feeling of tiredness, light-headedness, or even a stomachache. I think we have all experienced physical reactions when we hold a lot of emotion or stress, the same can be true when we release it. Therefore, it is good to engage in quiet time or peaceful activities that will help you relax after.
Also keep in mind that sometimes you need to do the visualization/meditation more than once to feel like the energy is completely gone and you can move on without it. Even if you must repeat it, after each time, you should feel a little lighter.
CORD CUTTING VISUALIZTION
Find a comfortable seated position. Allow your shoulders to relax. You might shrug them up towards your ears and then roll them back and allow them to release down.
Take a deep breath in through your nose and release it out your mouth.
Begin to breathe in and out through your nose.
Breathing in and breathing out.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Feel your mind and body begin to relax deeper.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Continue to focus on your breath.
Feel a sense of calm begin to wash over you.
Invite the person whom you’re wishing to cut cords with into your meditation now.
See them in your mind’s eye, standing before you.
Allow yourself to feel any feelings of anger or resentment, jealousy, or anything else that is coming up. Remember, these cords can form from a multiple of sources, unhealthy boundaries, a negative relationship, need for room to expand or for growth. The individual you are cutting cords with does not need to be someone you dislike; you can cut cords from anyone for a number of reasons.
Be present with your feelings as you breathe.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Notice if there is any discomfort coming up from imagining this person standing before you. Breathe in the feelings of discomfort. On your exhale, release these feelings.
See the cord between you both. See it physically in your mind’s eye. What does this cord look like? How does it appear? Is it thick or thin? Does it look or feel like a rope? A metal chain? Barbed wire? What does seeing it make you feel?
Breathe in and breathe out.
Where is this cord attached? At your chest, your throat, your stomach? Somewhere else?
Trust whatever images come to your mind.
See the cord clearly and prepare to cut it. Visualize a corresponding tool to cut your rope with. Are you using scissors? Or maybe a big glistening golden sword?
Prepare to free yourself from the negative energy and imbalance.
You're ready to cut the cord.
In your dominant hand you hold your tool. This tool represents your desire to be free and your commitment to peace.
Say to yourself: I now sever and release those energetic cords that no longer serve me or my highest good. I am letting go and beginning to heal. I release myself and you, from these binds. I am banishing these energetic cords and recovering the energy that has been lost.
When you’re ready, lower your tool and swiftly cut the cord. Visualize it effortlessly cutting, slicing, or removing the cord. Watch it fall to the ground.
Say to yourself: My energy flows back to me, filling me with vitality. I am creating a peaceful and energetic boundary full of love and light.
Take a deep breath in. Exhale, sigh it out.
Imagine the cord dissolving away, into the ground. As it disappears, feel all of the remaining energy lift off of you.
Imagine the person standing before you again. See their innocence. And their light. And then release them.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Breathe in and breathe out.
Take a moment to sit in a quiet meditation.
Feel the energy you have reclaimed. Imagine a field of energetic protection around you, you might even imagine it as a light. If so, what color is it? This is your energetic boundary, helping you to maintain your highest level of energy as you move forward into the rest of your evening.
Slowly begin to come back to this space. When you are ready, open your eyes.
If anything came up, thoughts or feelings, and you want to jot them down, take a moment to do so. If you need to get up, walk around, shake your limbs, re-ground yourself, feel free to take a moment to do this as well.
Sources:
B., Andrea. Cutting Energy Cords: A Ritual for The Heartbroken. Karma and Luck. https://www.karmaandluck.com/blogs/news/cutting-energy-cords-a-ritual-for-the-heartbroken
Bernstein, Gabrielle. (2018, January 21) Clean up Your Energy by Cutting Your (Emotional) Cords. Well + Good. https://www.wellandgood.com/renew-year-gabrielle-bernstein-cut-emotional-cords/
King, V.(2021). Healing Is the New High: A Guide to Overcoming Emotional Turmoil and Finding Freedom. Hay House UK Limited.
Ourisman, Jessica. (2020, December 2). What is Cord Cutting? Three Energy Healers Explain. https://necessite.co/2020/12/02/what-is-cord-cutting-three-energy-healers-explain/
Stewart, Caroline. Cord Cutting: Cutting Cords: How to Release Energetic Binds. https://insighttimer.com/blog/cutting-energy-cords/
